prefer to do sth rather than do sth 宁愿

My mum only had one eye. She cooked for students and teachers to    16   the family when I was young.
One day my mum came to　17  hello to me in primary school. I was so embarrassed（尴尬的） that I threw her a hateful  18 and ran out.
The next day at school, one of my classmates said, “Your mum only has one eye!” and   19     at me.
I hated my mum and decided to leave her, so I studied very hard. Later I got a chance to go abroad to study and I left my mother.　20　graduation I worked, bought a house and got    21 there. Then I had kids of my own. I was happy with my wife and my kids. But one day someone knocked at my door. It was my  22  !When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I   23   at her, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE NOW!” And to this, my mum　24   answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have got the wrong   25   ,”and she disappeared.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion（聚会） came to my house. So I　26   to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old house.
My neighbours said that she    27   . I did not have a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.
My dearest son,
   I am thinking　28　 you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your 　29　 .
     I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was still an embarrassment to you when you were growing up.
   You see…when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you grow up with one eye. So I gave you    30   .
   …  With all my love to you!
   Your mother